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I have been friends with a woman, who has overcome several challenges, which I admire. But, she's repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her husband walked away, and it was a massive blow. A lot of close acquaintances drifted away then, since they had been drawn to the spouse. This surprised her deeply. She put in increased attention to be my friend, probably understood more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, several of her friends have drifted apart and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she had been highly competent, her exit happened not understanding what had changed.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we've both left the workforce so we're spending frequent meetups, but I am finding the part I play between us is as the audience. I introduce subjects and she changes conversation onto what interests her. Regarding political views, she holds firm beliefs. I attempt to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She has been arranging a vacation to a country I have traveled to many times and resided in previously. I tried to provide personal experiences, but this was unappreciated. She purely just desired validation of her decisions. I recently returned from 30 days in that place she hopes to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling to act as a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, but I don't think she'll truly grasp the effect of how she acts on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is seldom a smooth outcome that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to a solution requires bravery and willingness for each of you.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing how things go during your discussions. It should be as factual as possible and essentially an unbiased account. The second is to express how this leaves you feeling. There should be no argument here. Your feelings are valid, naturally. The third step is to ask how the two of you going to change the dynamics between you."

Keep in mind your friend has her own side, so you need to stay open to acknowledge it. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"Now you talk and I'm going to not say anything for half an hour."

This can be successful for promoting better communication.

Key Takeaways

This person might reject everything, as some people hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they have a story of their life they cannot let go of because their very survival relies on it and it represents they trust. This poses a challenge because there's no clear path with these people, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might start out like this before reflecting on your words. And should you don't achieve an agreement, you'll have peace knowing you were truthful.